Tips for the Parents of Twins

What should we do?

• Talking with others who have had twins is invaluable. You can get many helpful ideas and advice from the parents about how to get through those early years.

• Read some of the books written about caring for twins. These books can give you more helpful tips and tell you what to expect. You may also want to subscribe to a magazine for parents of twins

• If you consider breastfeeding, get some advice from mothers of twins or a support group for mother's who breastfeed. It might be less difficult than you think.

• Expect to be tired. It will be a long time before you get a full night's sleep, so take every chance to rest during the day.

• Expect to have some negative feelings from time to time. With the intensity of the experience of having twins, it is natural to have these feelings. Try not to feel guilty about having them. Most parents of twins have moments when they feel they aren't up to the job of caring for the twins. These feelings won't last and you will soon get the hang of life with twins.

• Give each twin time alone with you. They need to know they are important as individuals and not just as twins.

• Make a special effort to speak and read frequently to each child. This may help with the delay in language development that some twins have.

What we shouldn't do?

• Don't pick names for the twins that rhyme or sound alike. One of the most difficult jobs for all children is to learn who they are as people and how they are different from others around them. This job is harder for twins, especially identical ones, who are always being compared with one another.

• Don't always refer to them as "the twins." Use their names just as you would two children of different ages. It helps them learn who they are.

• Don't make comparisons between the twins and don't create competition between them. It is natural for all siblings to compare themselves and be competitive with each other. Being a twin and being constantly compared with your twin can make these feelings worse. You may want to think about putting them in different classrooms at school.

• Don't forget about yourself or your partner. Talk to each other about your feelings and problems. Try to find some way to take a break regularly. You need it and you deserve it!